Knock on Wood

I saw my OB Thursday for my weekly checkup. Everything still looks fine -- the exam was normal, my blood pressure was good, and I'm gaining weight like a champ! :) I'm half afraid to jinx it, but I had my early labor test and since I haven't heard from the doctor's office yet, I'm tentatively saying that it was negative. I will say once again that I hate the "we'll only call if it is positive" arrangement, since you never know if they haven't called because they received the results and they were negative or if they're still waiting on the results. Argh! I talked to my doctor about the increased contractions/irritability that I've had since I switched meds and she is now having me take the nifedipine four times a day (every six hours) instead of three times a day. Happily, that appears to be making a big difference so far. I'm having fewer contractions and I feel less sore.

Who knew pregnancy would be so difficult? I feel like I'm waging an epic battle with my body just to keep this baby in there. I'd like to hope that little miss will appreciate the great effort it took to convince her to stay put, but I know she won't ... at least not until she's much older. One thing I've realized after having a baby is that you can never fully appreciate your parents until you have children of your own. As one of my friends aptly put it after her daughter was born, "Now I understand how my mom feels about me" (probably incorrectly quoted ;). I now comprehend why my parents did all those normal (and, at the time, seemingly unfair) parental things "for my own good" -- because all they wanted was the very best for me, even when I didn't know enough to want it for myself.

When you love someone so much, you'd do just about anything to spare them pain or suffering. Even after all this time, I can look at all the tiny pinprick scars on Max's heels and the scars from his Broviac catheter and it breaks my heart. Every time I have blood drawn I remember all the needle pokes that he endured and could cry for all the pain and discomfort that that tiny baby must have felt. I don't want this baby to have to go through what Max went through. Even though bedrest and unpleasant medication side effects and enduring LOTS of doctor poking and prodding is not much fun, if it helps me carry this little girl a little longer, I'm happy to do it.

After all, every day I'm still pregnant is a good day. :)