The Good Old Days?

While driving to work the other day, I drove past my favorite coffee "shop" (is it really a shop if it's stuck in a strip mall?) and had an urge to stop in and pick up some coffee (decaf, of course). As I was nearing the turn in, I had a little mini debate with myself. The "bad" me on one shoulder urged me to stop in and get a big, fat, fully caffeinated double cappuccino. The "good" me on the other shoulder gasped in horror that anyone would pay $4 for any beverage that came in a paper cup, especially something that wasn't particularly good for me or my nursing baby anyway. Should I waste money on something I really don't need or should I go ahead and treat myself (because, hey, don't I deserve a treat)? As is often the case, guilt triumphed and the "good" me prevailed. So I drove past the coffee shop, continued on to work, and drank half a cup of really abysmal work coffee.

I had to laugh about how much things change -- ten years ago (give or take) I was a free-wheeling college student and did pretty much whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. A double cappuccino was a daily (at least) indulgence back in those days -- one that I didn't think twice about. I'd schedule my classes so that I never had a lecture before 10 a.m. and I often managed to rig it so that Friday was entirely free of classes. I remember that once upon a time I slept until noon on Saturdays and then spent the afternoon drinking coffee and reading a good novel. I hung out with friends until the wee hours of the morning, took the dog for long walks, and never had spit-up in my hair.

These days, I'm happy if I get to "sleep in" until 6:30 a.m. I look for sales and ferret out bargains. I buy diapers in bulk. I haven't had more than an occasional sip of real coffee in 2 1/2 years -- I drink vast quantities of (somewhat unpalatable) nursing tea instead. I do still manage to squeeze in a fair amount of reading, but the titles are usally things like "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and "Programming ASP.NET" that I've checked out of the public library. I love my friends, but we don't see each other near as much as we'd like because we're all so busy. I get spit up on or pooped on or peed on almost on a daily basis. The only time I'm up in the wee hours these days is when I'm dealing with a teething toddler or a hungry baby (or much-procrastinated Halloween costumes). Saying I'm busy is a bit of an understatement.

But, do you know what? I'm happier and enjoy my life more now than I ever did in my carefree college days. I don't sit around and mourn the "best days of my life" because I'm living them right now. These are the days.