Making a List

After my last post, it appears that the weather has decided to get with the program -- it's now cold and blustery and I've actually seen snow, so let the countdown to Christmas begin! Since my idea of a successful Black Friday consists of wearing pjs all day, eating Thanksgiving leftovers, and not leaving the house for any reason whatsoever (mission accomplished!), Christmas shopping doesn't usually begin until the first week of December.

So, we're poring over catalogs, surfing the Net, and trying to figure out what "Santa" can possibly get for four kids who already have everything. We asked the big kids to write up their wish lists and were rewarded with scribbled laundry lists of "must have" items (i.e. everything in every toy catalog they could find). Filled with items like a "robot raindeer" [sic] and "build and program robots that do what you want" (heck, I want one of those), the lists tend to be slightly less than helpful for actual shopping purposes (but awfully fun to read!). To help narrow down the choices and facilitate the gift-purchasing process, we've come up with a checklist of things to avoid when purchasing Christmas gifts:

• Oversized items - Our closets, basement, and garage are already filled to overflowing.


• Toys that play music or have sound effects -- They'll be cute and fun for about 24 hours, until the ear-piercing version of "The Wheels on the Bus" becomes permanently lodged in your head.


• Items that require mass quantities of batteries -- The only thing worse than hearing "The Wheels on the Bus" 2,401 times in a single day is hearing it 2,401 times in scary, slurred "the batteries are dying" voice.


• Toys involving living creatures -- After the Sea Monkey Debacle of 2005, we've instituted a ban on all ant farms, butterfly houses, aquariums, etc.


• Toys with a million tiny pieces -- You never fully appreciate this rule until you're trying to maneuver the play room in your bare feet at night.


• Toys the require massive amounts of parental supervison -- Sure, the ship in a bottle kit sounds like a good idea ... until you realize that YOU will be the one building it.


• Poorly-designed board games -- Never buy any game that you don't want to play yourself ... at least 1,000 times (because you will!).


• Anything having to do with Barney, Teletubbies, Barbie, or Spongebob Squarepants -- Do I have to even explain this one?


• Really messy toys -- The splatter paint kit, the pottery wheel, and the glitter crafts all sound like good ideas at the time ...
  

Hmmm, after cross referencing the wish lists with the checklist above, the pool of acceptable items has shrunk significantly. It appears that everyone is getting a sack of potatoes for Christmas. ;)