The World Spins Madly On

Thanks to everyone for all the good thoughts and well wishes for me and for Cider. I miss her a lot and I suppose our house will seem just a little bit empty for a long while to come. After having dogs for so many years, it's totally bizarre not to have a dog in the house. I keep thinking I need to let the dog out or check the water bowl or remember the monthly heartworm preventative. Just the other day I was out running errands and while I was driving by the pet store I thought, "Hmm, I bet we're getting low on dog food" before I remembered that, yes, we were, but it no longer mattered. I keep looking for Cider in her favorite spots around the house – since she was always a pretty quiet and mellow dog, part of me still thinks she’s just hanging around the house somewhere.

It was sad to pick up the dog dishes and clean them out and put them away. It was sad to give the dog bed a final wash before storing it. It was even sad to do a final cleaning of the back yard. I do have to say that I don't think you realize how much dogs shed until you suddenly don't have one around any more – I haven’t vacuumed the downstairs carpets in THREE DAYS and the actual carpet is still visible (I was vacuuming the main floor every single day). But, instead of having to clean up dog hair, we now have to pick up every single piece of food that is dropped on the floor. I didn't realize what slobs Max and Molly were at mealtimes until we lost our food hound. Molly must be afraid of getting lost in the family room and not being able to find her way back out, because she invariably leaves a trail of Cheerios wherever she goes.

I keep meaning to dig up some old photos and make a little video photo montage of Cider -- I think it might make me feel better. It's hard when your whole world stops and, in a way, it's almost harder when it moves on again. It always makes me think of the lyrics from "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies:

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on