Bittersweet

After two years, two months, and two weeks of nursing, Molly has officially weaned. As of Friday, it's been a full week since she nursed and it went even better than I could have hoped. Molly hadn't been doing more than comfort nursing for months, so it was more a matter of habit and ritual than sustenance for her. Dad was off for a full week, so I had him get up with her in the morning, which was one of her usual nursing times. By the time he went back to work, I just started either tucking her back in or getting up with her when she woke up and she never even batted an eye. I'd still been nursing her briefly before bed, but since cutting out the morning session went so well, we went cold turkey on the bedtime session.

The first night she asked to nurse and fussed for about 30 seconds when I tried to distract her. I offered to hold her and sing her a song and she happily climbed into my lap and asked me to sing the Dora theme song (*aye*). The second night she was uber crabby and had a 60-second meltdown when she realized we weren't going to nurse. Once again, she was placated by the offer of a song and a cuddle. After the first two nights, she didn't even ask again -- she hopped into my lap, snuggled right up, and started in on the song requests. It was pain and trauma free for Molly, which was all I ever wanted.

You'd think that after over four years straight of being pregnant and/or nursing that I'd be happy to have my body back. And I am. But there's another part of me that's really sad to lose that special bond with my baby. Who, although I hate to admit it, isn't really a baby any more! Even though I know it's ridiculous, there's a part of me that worries that she won't NEED me any more, since I don't have something special to offer her. It was the ultimate ace up my sleeve, since it was something only we could share. Now I'm just a regular, old parent, without any mama superpowers.

Nursing was one of the hardest things I've ever done (at least in the beginning), but it was also one of the most rewarding. I'm proud that I could give such a valuable gift to my children. But, now, I think I'm going to go have a glass of wine ... or two. ;)