Epic Christmas Fail

In an attempt to actually get all of my Christmas shopping done and out of the way early this year, I've spent a lot of time surfing the online shops and browsing through pages and pages of STUFF. I have to say, there are some toys on the market right now that take my breath away (because I'm rolling on the ground and laughing too hard).

One of my favorites is the McDonald's Cash Register. This is just wrong on so many levels. I'm all for pretend play and we have a modest stash of play food, but encouraging your kid to pretend to serve and eat McDonald's fare seems ill advised at best. I think that's a career aspiration that most of us hope to avoid. And, although it's fun once in a while, probably not something that you want to promote as healthy eating habits. I think the Cookie Monster would agree that McDonald's is also a "sometimes food."

Another toy that made my brain hurt was the Fur Real Friend Bird. How cute! A little toy bird that you can adopt and feed ... with a bottle. A bottle?? I think that might be a step backwards for lactivists everywhere when even baby birds dolls come equipped with bottles.

The dolls and doll gear is also pretty amusing. The last thing I want to do after potty training two children is buy a doll that pees its pants and needs to learn how to use the potty. And, after struggling to rid my house of baby gear that has been outgrown and is no longer needed, the last thing I'm going to do is buy a miniature version of all the ridiculous, space-eating items that come along with a newborn baby. I can deal with a dolly stroller, but dolly can sleep in the corner with the rest of the toys, because I'm not letting another Pack and Play (miniature or otherwise) cross my doorstep.

It might just be me, but the giant mechanical animals also creep me out. I wished for a horse (and a puppy) about year single year (in fact, I still do), but a FurReal Friend Pony just wouldn't have fit the bill. I also suspect that there will be a lot of expensive, animatronic clothes horses hanging around in a few months' time.

In the future, I'm afraid my poor kids might be fated to be the only kids in their class without the latest ridiculous toy. But, they'll have to take comfort in their building blocks and books and sensible play things. Or, maybe my resolve will crumble after all -- I never could stand tears. ;)