Things Not to Do

Don't have the misfortune/poor timing to be born between Christmas and New Year's Eve. Don't decide that a great idea for a child's special birthday outing would be to spend several hours outdoors in the winter. Don't believe the weather forecast when they say that we'll have unseasonably mild temperatures for said outing. Don't be surprised when, instead of a balmy 40 degrees, it's actually 30 degrees and falling with a windchill factor of "freeze your hiney off." Don't take two small children out of the house for several hours if they've both skipped their naps and are still on a sugar high from Christmas. Don't take three junior high/high school aged children with you to a museum/historical attraction. Especially don't take them if the entire trip will involve them showing off to one another by competing to see whose behavior can be the most grating.

Don't drop several thousand dollars worth of camera equipment on the pavement. Seriously, don't. Don't expect the two harried adults to be able to salvage a good mood after said dropping of camera equipment. Don't neglect to make a plan for where exactly you are going and what exactly you are doing there. Don't expect the two year old to LOVE the carousel, no matter how authentic and cool you think it is. Don't miss the trolley back to the entrance. Don't take five children into the gift shop, even if it is REALLY cold outside. Don't park so darn far away. Don't forget to check the hours of the restaurant you plan to eat at on the way home. In fact, don't bother with the restaurant at all -- it isn't worth the aggravation or the dent in your pocketbook. Don't skip the therapeutic drink when you eventually make it home.

Don't forget to try again another day, when everyone is better rested, the weather is more obliging, and a firm itinerary is in place.