Looking Good

I went up to the hospital for an ultrasound yesterday -- everything looks good! My fluid levels are still fine and they're estimating that the baby weighs 5 lbs, 15 oz!! I was hoping she'd be a little over 5, so I was surprised -- big girl! She's still WAY down low, but everything looks fine. She was wiggling around in there and sticking out her tongue and we could even see that she had hair on her head. She's measuring almost a week ahead still -- it looks like she's already outgrown her tiniest onsies and I can go ahead and order her coming home outfit, since she should fit in the newborn size (unless I end up being overdue ;).

They did a cervical length check and it's still hanging in there! Actually, it was quite a bit better than three weeks ago. The lowest measurement they got was 1.25 cm (compared to .5 cm three weeks ago) with some funneling -- the highest was 2.4 with no funneling. The tech was flabbergasted because my cervix is so dynamic that it would go from one extreme to the other in seconds. It probably doesn't help that baby is smooshing it with her little head.

So, basically, it was a great appointment and I'm feeling really good about things. I even survived the long walk up to the perinatal assessment unit -- but I walk SLOWLY these days, so it took me a while to waddle up there. ;)

34 Weeks!!

We made it to another big preemie milestone -- 34 weeks!! We're now at the point where most doctors don't try to stop labor (even though there isn't anything left for them to try on me anyway) and we're beyond the need for steroid shots. 34 weeks is when most babies develop their suck/swallow/breathe coordination as well, making feeding issues less likely. We're into definite feeder/grower territory now -- although we'd most likely still log a little NICU time, some 34 weekers go straight home. So, if I wasn't so big and unwieldy and out of shape, I'd be doing a happy dance right now. ;) Now we raise the bar to 36 weeks and see how close we can get!

I had my weekly checkup today. My OB looks happier every time I see her. ;) She wants me to start moving around some more and to cut back my meds. Since I'll be stopping my meds at 36 weeks, she wants to wean me off of them gradually. So, I'll go back to taking my meds three times a day instead of four. I'm scared to rock the boat, but I know we need to start getting my body back into the normal swing of things. I also only have two more progesterone shots to do, so in two weeks I'll be drug free.

So I get to ease up on the bedrest a bit, which will be nice but freak me out at the same time! My doctor is sending me up to the hospital tomorrow for another ultrasound -- she wants to check fluid levels and the baby's size again and they'll do a cervical length check as well. It's always reassuring to peek at the baby -- I'm curious to see how big they think she is. Space must be getting tight in there, because she does less kicking and punching and more wiggling and stretching. Sometimes you can see little hard knees or elbows poke out. I felt my first real kick in the ribs the other day! Max never got big enough to kick me in the ribs and this little girl has been hanging out so far down that I don't usually feel her up that high. She also gets the hiccups fairly often, which Max never had.

So, one last big push (pun intended!) and we'll be in the clear. It would be really nice to be able to deliver in the normal labor and delivery rooms, rather than spending time in the high-risk wing and delivering in the OR. At this point, I think the normal L&D rooms are the only part of the maternity ward that I HAVEN'T seen. The hospital has L&D suites, so you labor, deliver, and recover in the same room. All things being equal, the baby never has to leave your sight. Wouldn't that be a nice change!

Slow Motion

You'd think that after almost 12 weeks of bedrest, a couple more weeks would be a walk in the park. Unfortunately, time appears to have come to a virtual standstill and the days are dragging by ever so slowly. But, we're getting there, slowly but surely. I still have good days and bad days, but all in all things don't seem to be progressing. My doctor told me last week that she didn't expect that I'd make it as far as I have, so I'm very happy to be able to prove her wrong (she's pretty pleased about it as well!). I've found the perfect coming home outfit for the baby and I think I'll go ahead and order it in the hopes that she'll be big enough to wear it. It may seem silly to fuss so much over an outfit that the baby won't have on for long, but "coming home day" has always been a BIG deal around here. Every day we get a little closer to the possibility of a take home baby!

My weekend was very dull -- I was bummed to miss out on all the get togethers that took place this weekend. Max has also been a little crab butt the last few days -- I think he's having another round of "terrible teeth." Two of his molars are virtually all the way in, but the other two are just peeking through. He's been throwing lots of baby fits, complete with crocodile tears, when he doesn't get his way (which, when you're 18 months old, happens a lot ;). He's really getting good at getting into EVERYTHING. We keep having to move things farther back from the edges of counters and desks, because he is very good at standing on his tippiest tip toes and reaching his little arms up and getting things that you were sure were safely out of reach. He's also figured out how to open the dishwasher (and he's almost mastered the lock on the dishwasher door) -- he tries to open up the refrigerator but isn't big enough yet (thank goodness). He knows what doorknobs are for and tries to turn them, but he isn't quite tall enough yet.

Now it's time to go off and continue my "wish list" of all the things I want to do once I'm finally off bedrest (I am completely ignoring the fact that after 14 weeks of inactivity, my body probably won't let me do much of anything).

33 Weeks!

All weeks, these days, are long weeks, but I've made it through another one! One more week to go and I'll have made it to 34 weeks, where most doctors officially acknowledge that you're out of the preemie woods. You'd probably still log some NICU time with a 34 weeker, but only as a short-term feeder/grower. I had a rough weekend this weekend -- some bad bouts of contractions that I had a hard time settling down. My Monday morning progesterone shot (or some other random factor) seems to have helped matters, because most of this week has been fairly smooth sailing. Some days I feel like it is only my stubborn refusal to have another preemie that is holding this baby in there. That feeling always reminds me of some lines from Rudyard Kipling's "If-":

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

Only three more weeks of bedrest! It's hard to believe that I've been on bedrest for 11 weeks now. Sheesh! It's been a long haul, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We're so thankful for all the help we've received from our families -- Max's grandmas and grandpas and aunties have been wonderful. We are so very, very grateful to all of you. Even if we don't make it all the way to term, we're still in pretty good shape -- we couldn't have done it without you. At this rate, this little girl will already have outgrown the tiny preemie onsies I bought her by the time she's born. So, I'll just keep on keeping on as long as I can manage.

Max is still learning new things every day and is totally funny. He has gone baby crazy the last few days -- "bay-bee" is his new second favorite word (right after "again," or "ah-gem" as he pronounces it). Max wants to watch slideshows of himself on the computer and he keeps bringing me magazines so I can show him baby pictures (we have much better luck when he brings me "Parents" than when he decides to bring me "Bon Appetit" or "Gourmet"). If you ask him where the baby is, he'll point it out, which is the first pointing he's done. He's also become quite the little fashionista lately -- he'll bring you his coat so you can drape it over his shoulders and bring you his snap-bead ring so you can put it on his arm, then he'll parade around and admire his reflection in the oven door. He's also discovered that it is quite fun to spin around in a circle. He'll stand in the middle of the room, spinning around and saying "Whee!" until he gets dizzy and falls down.

Max is still fascinated with my stomach -- he likes to lift up my shirt and pat my belly -- he even said belly the other day! Sometimes he'll even rest his little head on my stomach -- he doesn't seemed at all phased when baby kicks him. Max is starting to try to mimic everything you say and do. He likes it when you play "This little piggy went to market" with his toes. After you're done, he'll grab his own toes and say "piggum, piggum, piggum." Silly baby!

Once again, picture plans have been temporarily foiled by laziness and bad weather, but we'll be sure to take some in the next day or so!

32 Weeks!

I managed to hit another milestone -- I'm 32 weeks! When I went into the hospital two weeks ago I really didn't think I'd make it this far (and I don't think the doctors did either), so I'm SO happy that I'm still cooking. So, apparently the smidge of cervix that I have left is hanging in there. Now I'll raise the bar to 34 weeks and see how far I can get.

I had my weekly checkup with my OB yesterday -- she's pleased that we made it this far. She's not doing any internals any more, so it was just a routine visit. Baby sounds fine and is still head down and my stomach is measuring the appropriate size. I haven't gained any weight in the last month (I'm actually a pound lighter than a month ago), but the doctor said that's normal at this point and nothing to worry about as long as the baby is growing. My blood pressure is still normal, so the nifedipine isn't causing it to dip too low. The plan is to keep me on the meds until 36 weeks, then cut me loose.

My body is so out of shape right now though -- I had to sit down twice in the shower this morning because I thought I was going to pass out. Then, the half hour I spent at the doctor's office totally wiped me out, so I had to promptly return home to my couch potato lifestyle.

I wanted to post a celebratory 32-week belly photo, but we haven't managed to take one yet, so I'll have to post it later. Hope everyone has a nice weekend and manages to stay cool!

These Days, No News Is Good News

I don't really have much to report, but that's a good thing!! I seem to be in a nice holding pattern right now, which I'll gladly take for as long as it'll last. Everything is still fairly calm and the meds seem to be keeping the contractions at bay. I have better and worse days and I've pretty much been living in the bedroom since I was discharged from the hospital. I'm hoping to lay low for another couple of weeks -- if I can make it to 34 weeks, I'll probably start moving around a bit more. I'll need to start easing my body back into "real life," so I will be able to function once the baby gets here and I can (and have to!) move around again. Getting breakfast in bed every day is pretty nifty, but all good things must end. ;)

We're getting there! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ...

Serene, I Fold My Hands and Wait ...

I saw my OB yesterday -- it was a quick visit and not really much to tell. We both agreed that it would be unwise to do an exam, since things are so precarious right now and an exam wouldn't tell us much that we don't already know. The baby sounded great and my blood pressure is still fine -- nifedipine has a tendency to lower your blood pressure too much and I've had problems with it in the past. I don't need to trek up to the hospital for any more ultrasounds, so I'll just see my OB every week and we'll see how things go. If anything changes and I'm showing any signs of going into labor, I've been instructed to get my butt up to L&D pronto.

I think I'm as prepared as I can be -- hospital bag is packed and I sent in all the necessary forms for my work and set things up there as best I could. I ordered some little pink preemie clothes in the hopes that I'll be wasting my money and won't need them after all (in which case they'll be donated to the NICU ;). I'm actually feeling better today than I have for the past week, which always makes me hope that I can keep on chugging along for a while yet. I want to buy the baby a nice coming home outfit, but I can't do it yet because I don't know how big she'll be!

Max has suddenly become very interested in babies. When I (attempt to) take pictures of him, he keeps asking to see the "baby" the appears on the camera's LCD screen. He also keeps bringing me my pregnancy books and asking to see the drawings of the baby in there. I know he has NO concept of what is going on and what he's in for, but he does like to pat my belly anyway. It'll be interesting to see what he thinks when the "real" baby gets here! He'll probably want to stick his fingers in her mouth and pull her hair and see what fun noises she makes. He might decide that she's just too boring, since the only "button" that she'll have is her belly button (but he does think those are interesting)!

All My Bags Are Packed ...

Except, unlike John Denver, I'm not quite ready to go! I had my ultrasound and cervical length check at the hospital this morning. My cervix isn't measuring any shorter (still .6-.7 cm), but there no longer IS an upper range (it was between .6 cm and 1.4.cm on Friday) and there is a little funneling still. So, all in all, a little worse than last Friday. The attending doctor at the Perinatal Assessment Center wanted to admit me until we explained the situation (he had paged my OB, but couldn't get her on the phone right then, so I think he was loathe to let me go without talking to her first). So at least I'm back home. He didn't seem to think I had a whole lot of time left.

The good news is that the baby looks great. They took all her measurements and they think she weighs about 4 lbs! The tech said she was practicing breathing in there, which is a good sign. She's still head down, but she's WAY down, which is probably why I'm feeling so much pressure right now (I'm sure that isn't helping my cervix any). You know your perspective is skewed when you think of a 4 lb baby as big! Max came with us to the ultrasound and after we pointed out the "baby" on the monitor, he kept looking at the screen and repeating "baby." Too cute!

I see my regular OB tomorrow for a follow-up, so we'll see what she has to say. I don't think there is really much she can tell us at this point. I didn't want to have to pack my hospital bag before 32 weeks, but I'm now packed and ready to go. I'll be 31 weeks tomorrow, so I'm going to do my best to try to make it to 32 weeks.

American Boy

Max celebrated his second Fourth of July today -- unfortunately, it was a rather low-key holiday, since Mom was unable to make the traditional American feast (*sniff* no apple pie) and spent virtually all of the day lying on the couch or in bed. But Max seemed just as happy with his grilled cheese sandwich and he and Dad even got to take a dip in the pool after dinner! We did have to light a few token fireworks for Max before he went to bed. He liked the "fountain" type fireworks best and thought the ones that made loud noises were a little scary. He did clap appreciatively after the "grand finale" (when Dad lit off TWO little spark fountains at the same time ;), so the holiday wasn't a complete loss. Next year we'll take him to see some big fireworks. :)


Just for another fun "Then and Now" comparison, the picture above was taken today and the picture on the right is Max enjoying his first Fourth of July last summer (he refused to smile for the camera). I still can't believe what a big boy he's getting to be! It is so fun watching him grow and learn and develop, but there's part of me that wishes he could stay a baby forever. I suppose those feelings are pretty par for the parenting course!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend and a great Fourth of July!

The Clock is Ticking

Well, after a nice calm patch, it looks like baby might be gearing up to come sooner than later. I started having a lot more contractions Thursday and Friday -- not painful, but not comfortable and much stronger and more frequent than I have had recently. I went to my doctor's appointment first thing on Friday morning and discovered that I was 1 cm dilated, although not at all effaced. This isn't uncommon in second pregnancies, but not necessarily a positive sign for me, so my doctor scheduled an appointment up at the hospital later that day for another cervical length check. She also took another early labor test so we could get a better idea of what was going on.

As I feared, my cervical length check revealed that I have just a smidge of cervix left -- it's back to being fun and dynamic, so it was measuring between .6 cm and 1.4 cm (a LOT shorter than last time and definitely in the danger zone). Possibly a bit of funneling, but not major. So, needless to say, they sent me right over to L&D and admitted me straight to a room as a 24-hour (minimal) observation patient. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and the contraction monitor -- I was having decent-sized contractions every five minutes (which I already knew anyway). Baby looks great -- nice strong heartbeat, moving around all over the place, and still head down.

The SWAT team of doctors came in to talk to me -- I had to laugh because for each shift, I'd already met 2 of the 3 doctors on previous visits -- one of the chief resident this time had just been a lowly resident when Max was born (I wonder if the hospital gives out "frequent flyer" miles). After talking with my OB, going over my history and the current treatment, the doctors doubled my dose of nifedipine (I'm now on the maximum dose) and started the steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs. My poor long-suffering legs got a couple more nasty pokes (steroid shots are not pleasant). I wasn't allowed to eat anything (pure pregnant woman torture), so I couldn't talk them out of hooking me up to an IV (this time it only took about 20 minutes to get it in and ended up with blood everywhere ... twice :P). They hospital did have the results from my early labor test back by the time I got up there and they were actually negative. I totally expected them to be positive, so that was a little surprising. A negative test results supposedly means that 99 people out of 100 won't deliver their baby in the next two weeks, so I'm hoping I'm not going to end up falling into the 1% false negative category.

Thankfully, the increased dose of meds settled things down -- the contractions are MUCH better and back under control for now. After they got the second steroid shot on board, they checked my cervix again before sending me home. It's was actually a little better -- the lowest reading was about 1 cm and the highest almost 2 cm. Still being dynamic and still possibly a little funneling. At this point, we've taken all the preventative steps we can take -- there's nothing more we can do except hope my body lets this baby stay put a little longer. Basically, the next time I go to the hospital it'll probably be to have the baby, since there is no point in my going up there unless I think I'm in labor (or if I think the baby is in distress). We can't do anything more to hold off labor than we're already doing. That's both somewhat of a relief and somewhat scary.

At this point, the chances of me making it to term are pretty slim, so I'm trying to wrap my brain around the idea of having another preemie. Dad went down to the NICU while we were there to check and see which neonatologist was the attending doctor right now. :P Things were going so well for a while there that I was hoping I might get that "take home" baby after all. At this point, I'd really just like to squeak on through to 32 weeks -- anything past that is bonus. When I went into the hospital yesterday I wasn't expecting to walk out still pregnant -- so I'm glad I still am!

It was interesting to see the doctors' reaction to a threatened 30 weeker delivery rather than a threatened 27 weeker delivery -- much less doom and gloom. They didn't trot in the social workers and the NICU reps this time around. The "big dog" doctor yesterday told us that, in general, having a 30-weeker was night and day from having a 27 weeker. The doctors would really like to see me get to 32 weeks -- that seems to be kind of their benchmark "safe" gestation -- the long-term outcomes for 32 weekers, in general, are as good as those for full-term babies.

Hospital beds are still horribly uncomfortable and the food stinks (I did eventually get to eat the next day). I'm tired of walking around in the butt-baring robes and I hate IVs. I'm SO glad to be back home. Dad brought Max up to visit me in the hospital and he thought it was GREAT fun to press all the buttons on the bed and make Mom's bed move all over the place. This was a good warning to me to get all my ducks in a row before baby comes -- it's time to give in and pack my hospital bag and get ourselves as prepared as we can be before baby arrives.

I'll get another cervical length check on Wednesday and they'll also measure the baby to see how big she is, then I have a follow-up appointment with my OB on Thursday. Hopefully I can convince my body to let this little girl stay put for a bit longer yet!